So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
