That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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