I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I cut my penus on the lid.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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