It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
