I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
