This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
