should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
