He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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