I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
