If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
