what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize