I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
