dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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