he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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