she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
