I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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