I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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