Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
