I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
