I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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