Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
