Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
