the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
