Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
