We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This baby is an asshole
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize