Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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