I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife