My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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