mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.