That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.