One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
