Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Dear god my vagina.
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