Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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