Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
