Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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