she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
