I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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