found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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