She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
