I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
