Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
