well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
