Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
