i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She bit a glass in half.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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