I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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