i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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