My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
