Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
