I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
