why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
