I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize