This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
