So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
