Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
