South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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