you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
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There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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