I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
