this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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