Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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